Stuff piling up

Isn't it crazy how things sometimes seem to just collect, add up and grow until having formed a huge stack of stressful should-have-done-s. Eventhough I feel I really make an effort to finish things I start, and prioritize in a resonable way. But still, at times, it isn't "enough". At the moment, a significant amount of my closest and dearest friends and relatives are feeling extremely sad, low or generally crap; due to divorces, illness, monetary issues, stress etc. I am trying to be as supportive as you can in situations like those crappy ones, but it is hard to get the feeling of you being adequate, sufficient, enough. Although I really think I am. The main problem for myself is that I put me on the very bottom of my "important to take care of"-list. I'm trying hard though, to squeeze in some time and effort spent only on myself, but it feels a bit unreal and fabricated. It is hard to keep up the spirit and GO when you on the sunday afternoon/evening still feel very tired from your last week. But I guess things'll be fine anyway, they always are in the end. Crap always happen, and you never "deserve" it, because crappiness doesn't care about deserving. I hope next week will be a bit slower and slightly more relaxing. I have plans to go to Stockholm to visit a friend from wednesday to saturday, which I am looking forward to (and have done ever since I bought the tickets). I hope I will be able to relax then, and not worry how those that I care about that feel really bad right now, how they are doing and managing "without me". I am sure I am important, however not essential in any way, and just need to tone down my own role in the wellbeing of people around me.

And just go to Stockholm and enjoy myself. And try to handle the guilt I normally expose myself to when I am having fun/enjoying simultaneously as someone I care about is feeling low.