Decisions

I had just decided it would me too much for me to write up my thesis and finish two papers during the fall, along with full-time journalism studies. Journalism studies that would continue during the spring as well, the spring when I will "just" prepare and defend my thesis. So I had decided to skip the idea of journalism studies right now. I had found a part-time course in massmedia-knowledge from the university in Gothenburg, a distance-course. I thought maybe I could apply for that one instead. I had come to terms with my "limitations", and was fine with it.

Then my sweet contact at Sydsvenskan Sarah Nylund send me an e-mail. She told me she had showed her boss the portrait I had done of her. This boss, the domestic boss at Sydsvenskan, had then said 'she's got real journalism potential'. Which Sarah kindly let me know.

Five words. That 5 words can just turn things upside down all over again. A compliment. I'm like a desert when it comes to compliments. Not that I don't get any, just that I inhale them, suck them up, and I just love them so much. So now I'm all "but maybe I still can do it all", "I can't throw away this potential", "it's not fair to journalism to not do it now", and other silly arguments. So now I'm all clueless again. I really should focus on reading for my exam I have monday, but I just can't get it out of my head. What should I apply for? Tuesday evening 11.59 pm, before that I must have decided and applied.