Violent animals

Me and my boyfriend were in bed about to sleep, and the animals were playing. Now, this is nothing kinky or anything, but we have several animals each whose sole purpose is to in a cute way annoy the otherone. I have the duck (quacking, trying to bite the prostate; I swear this is nothing sexual), the beaver (quick but kind slaps, like the beavers tail), the two fish (flapping around in armpits, good ticklers), the goat (sharp horns attacking), and the woodpecker (quick kisses on the neck, good tickler). Apart from these animals I also have the following phenomena in my small army; lthe lightening strike (same functions as the goat, in a mono-attack fashion), the amoeba (trying to dig itself into the ear), the Oompaloompas (from the movie 'Charles and the chocolate factory'; small legs running quickly over the torso, ending up by the neck; ticklers), and the Sultan (hinting about anal activites, scaring the crap out of boyfriend; again nothing sexual). Now, sweet boyfriend is trying naïvely to counterstrike this army, and has been able to come up with three animals; the anteater, the crab, and the ... I forgot the last one. The skeleton!

All my animals and annoying figures aim mainly to tickle him, since he is ticklish like a 8-year-old girl (and sounds like one too when tickled). I am by no means ticklish, so he has to find other ways to annoy me.

So the other night, he was trying hard to be annoying with his animals, and the anteater were licking me all over my face. Then suddenly the anteater gets out of control and strikes hard, and (apparently accidentaly) boyfriend slams his front teeth against mine, with a bit of my lip in between.. My lip starts to bleed, and hurts like hell. The anteater was immediately sent to the corner to be ashamed of itself, and the anteater puppeteer claims it was not on purpose. The next day, it was the crab's turn to hurt me. The crab's behaviour is to pinch hold of my lips, and kiss them. This is very often just cute, but when having a very sore lip, this hurts like hell again. So the crab was sent to join the anteater in the corner (still being ashamed of itself). They were both awarded cones to have on their heads, to look even more silly (in swedish 'dumstrutar', dumb cones) and to continue the process of indulging in shame. Again, the puppeteer claims no responsibility.

Today he made up his third character, the skeleton. This character has still not hurt me in anyway, just annoyed me a bit (quickly rattling teeth in my face). But I am still waiting for it to happen. And waiting with fear for the day when the anteater and the crab are let back out of their corner (as soon as my lip swelling is reduced and pain is attenuated). What will happen then. Maybe my army needs an upgrade...