Insomnia

It happens at times that it is just impossible to sleep. Especially stressful times. As published in my last post my next month will be a rather busy one, but I then hoped it would be mainly happy. Tonight it was just mainly stressful. My body refused to relax, my heart kept on beating quickly, and my worries were directed towards three main things: the mystery of nervecells and inflammation in the brain, the process/hulabaloo/project of packing all my stuff, what stuff to move to my parents' and what to move to my new apartment, in what I should pack my stuff etc, or finally how the New Years' Eve party will be tonight, how I will manage it. Nothing that I could solve from where I was - in bed in a dark room.

When I was still awake at 2.30 am (after having tried to sleep for at least 2.5 hours), I got up, practised my presentation I will give on the 9th and wrote down some more questions I should be prepared to answer then. After having been up another hour or so, I went back to bed, and apparently fell asleep. I woke up, clearly awake at 7.30 again. This is no time to wake up when you didn't fall asleep until after 3.30 am! I managed to go back to sleep again, and didn't get up until just before lunch time.

I hate stress. I hate stressing about things. I hate when positive encouraging stress turns into bad negative stress. Like when me and boyfriend were at IKEA yesterday. We found a shelf we wanted, planned which size and what baskets to have in it, I got all excited (I love re-decorating!), and then suddenly, after having been all happy and excited for 10 minutes or so, it just made me all tired and empty and stressed - when should we buy the shelf, when will we have time to paint it, how will we transport it, when can I put my stuff in it, what stuff should I have in it etc. It is just so magnificently silly, why bother about that stuff even, it'll sort out! Not by itself, but I will sort it out when time comes. There is nothing I can do about it at 2 am at least. Or rather, there are more important things to do at 2am - sleep, and getting ready for the next day.

So I finally got some sleep. And now most of the things feel much better. Apart from the most acute one - the party. But they say it'll sort out, so let's hope so.